Gerry Turner reveals dark thoughts after ‘Golden Bachelor’ divorce

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‘Golden Bachelor’ star Jerry Turner thought he had found ‘the one’ in Teresa Nest – but just three months after saying ‘I do’, their fairytale romance fell apart.

The 74-year-old Indiana widower made history as the first big star on ABC’s hit dating series “The Golden Bachelor,” where he met Neste, who is also a widow. After a whirlwind courtship, they married live on television in January 2024, announcing their separation in April of that year. Now, Turner reflects on his search for happily ever after in his new memoir, “The Golden Years.”

‘The Golden Bachelor’ Jerry Turner warns ex-wife Teresa Nest ‘should be worried’ about his upcoming memoir

Jerry Turner and Teresa Nest were married on January 4, 2024. The ceremony was chronicled in a special film titled “The Golden Wedding.” (Photo by John and Joseph/Disney via Getty Images)

“Okay, I admit it was a huge mistake, but it’s always easy to have 20/20 hindsight,” Turner told Fox News Digital. “I think I hurt Teresa, I hurt my family. There were a lot of things I wasn’t perfect about. … There wasn’t one surprising moment where I realized the marriage was over. “It was a gradual march towards the end.”

“I’ve been really low since filing for divorce,” Jerry Turner wrote. “It’s hard to admit to yourself that you’ve made such a very bad decision. For months, I couldn’t shake my bitter resentment towards Teresa and the show. Nor could I rid myself of the feeling that I was a disappointment. I didn’t read people as much as I thought I would. I rushed into a wedding I didn’t believe in.” (Eric McCandless/Disney via Getty Images)

In his memoir, Turner admits that it was difficult to accept how quickly things fell apart. He wrote that he “hurried to a wedding [he] He “did not believe” and later found himself “in a very dark place.”

Fox News Digital has reached out to Nest, 71, for comment. She said before the book was published Us Weekly: “It makes me so sad to think that he felt so empty and trapped. I wish he had said something and just ended it. But at least now I understand why he was hurting me so much. And I will say this. Someone who’s in a glass house shouldn’t throw stones. I wish him all the best.”

Turner, a retired restaurant owner, has found love before. He married his high school sweetheart, Toni, in 1974. Their marriage lasted until Toni died in 2017, six weeks after she retired and became ill. People magazine I mentioned. Turner was later encouraged by their daughters to join the show. The Midwestern native was hesitant but wondered if he could find love again.

Gerry Turner and his first wife Toni on their wedding day. “Many people expected our marriage to fail because we were too young,” he wrote. “It’s our youth and commitment to each other that has made us successful for 43 years! We grew up together and never thought we’d be together.” (Courtesy of Jerry Turner)

“I wasn’t interested,” Turner recalled to Fox News Digital. “I rebelled against the idea at first. But after a night’s sleep, I said to myself: ‘I don’t have anything going on here.’ And I hope this works out for me.’ I threw my hat in the ring and, of course, that started a really long process of getting to the point where I actually got my first ‘Bachelor Gold’ title.

Jerry Turner is shown here surrounded by his daughters and granddaughters. (Brian Bowen Smith/ABC via Getty Images)

Nest was easy to fall in love with among the contestants. They both suffered heartbreak After a long and happy marriage. Turner and Nest were also devoted to their children and grandchildren. It seemed like a match made in heaven – at first.

Teresa Nest and Jerry Turner quickly bonded on set. They both expressed their hope of finding love again. (John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images)

Turner claimed that Nest told him that once she found “the right man,” she would quit her job to focus on a new chapter of adventure with her husband. But months later, he claimed that Nest wanted to work “for another year, maybe a year and a half.” Turner said he respects Nest’s goals but wishes he had known sooner.

“I would try to shorten that period of time because I really looked at what I wanted out of that relationship and what she wanted in her job as mutually exclusive,” he explained. “We couldn’t have both of those things. It really told me there was no way I was going to be able to enjoy what I wanted to do, which was travel and have some adventures and have fun.”

Jerry Turner was hoping to find love again in his “golden years.” He was looking for a partner who was ready to enjoy retirement and embark on new adventures together. (John Fleenor/Disney via Getty Images)

Disagreements accumulated – over where to live, how to spend their money, and even over the pre-marriage period. Turner claimed that Nest “didn’t want anything to do with the state of Indiana,” while viewing its New Jersey roots as a vacation spot, not a home. Days before their wedding, he said his lawyer frantically called about missing her signature on a prenuptial agreement. People magazine She reported that the couple made a prenuptial plan before their wedding.

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Jerry Turner’s memoir, The Golden Years: What I’ve Learned from Love, Loss, and Reality TV, is available now. (Grand Central Publishing)

Despite their efforts to find common ground, once the cameras stopped rolling, the cracks deepened.

According to reports, Nest and Turner never lived together. During their short marriage, they struggled to find a place they could both call home. In the book, Turner wrote that after they shared a “very awkward goodbye at the airport,” he realized they were enjoying “the warmth of a meeting between distant cousins.” This was not the second act he had envisioned for himself.

Jerry Turner and Teresa Nest struggled to find common ground after the cameras stopped rolling. (John Fleenor/Disney via Getty Images)

“That experience was very traumatic,” he told Fox News Digital. “There are expectations when you get into a relationship and then get married. There were things that I really wanted. I wanted those moments of intimacy, no matter what they were. I wanted to build shared experiences. I wanted to start developing the catalog of memories that we would have. And those things didn’t happen. They didn’t exist.”

Jerry Turner proposed to Teresa Nest during the series finale of The Golden Bachelor that aired on November 30, 2023. (John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images)

“I felt empty at times,” he continued. “I felt like we were forcing a relationship and forcing feelings that weren’t coming as naturally as they should. I don’t think it was anything big that caused us not to find commonalities and not find happiness with each other, but rather dozens of little things that piled up.”

Turner said he was struggling with the truth, which was that he and Nest were not compatible.

The marriage of Gerry Turner and Theresa Nest was filmed on a global stage, but its end unfolded quietly, away from the limelight. (Photo by John and Joseph/Disney via Getty Images)

“What made us go ahead with the wedding? I think Teresa and I have the same mindset here,” he told Fox News Digital.

“We had a lifelong commitment to a marriage partner. … We knew the importance of commitment. We knew the importance of being a role model for our children and grandchildren. … We said, ‘We can get to know each other. We can iron out any areas where we don’t know each other well. “We can make this work.”

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Jerry Turner and Teresa Nest announced their divorce on April 12, 2024, during a joint interview on “Good Morning America.” (Eric McCandless/Disney via Getty Images)

The marriage ended quietly During a private outing in California. They were in town for a job.

“We were trying one last time to see if we could work out our differences,” Turner said. “Finally, I just asked, ‘Do you think it’s time to end it?’ Her answer was without hesitation: Yes, I think it is time to cancel it.

“I could see that the whole story, the whole story, was not being told,” Jerry Turner told Fox News Digital. “And I really wanted to say that.” (Brian Bowen Smith/ABC via Getty Images)

Turner later revealed that he did so briefly Suicidal thoughts He faced online criticism over the divorce.

In both his book and an interview with Fox News Digital, Jerry Turner admitted that he struggled with the effects of his divorce. (John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images)

“One night, as I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling, it became too much to handle, and for a brief moment, I considered putting a gun to my head,” he wrote. “Just as quickly, I thought about Jenny and Angie. I could never do that to my daughters, but I don’t think I really wanted to kill myself. My suicidal thoughts were an expression of my desire to disappear.”

“That was just a short thought,” Turner explained to Fox News Digital.

Before the book was published, Teresa Nest told Us Weekly, “I wish he had said something and just ended” the relationship. (John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images)

Months later, in December 2024, Turner revealed he had been diagnosed with slow-growing bone marrow cancer. He claimed in the book that Nest didn’t log in like some of the other contestants.

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According to “Golden Years,” Jerry Turner and Teresa Nest are not on speaking terms. (John Fleenor/Disney via Getty Images)

“I didn’t have any high expectations for Teresa or any of the other women when I shared what was happening to me, but to be so unimportant to someone I was married to, even briefly, was extremely painful,” he wrote. “We don’t talk anymore, we have no reason to.”

Today, Turner Feeling hopeful about his future —And love. In October, he announced his engagement to his new girlfriend, Lana Sutton. He popped the question 15 months after his divorce was finalized.

Jerry Turner received a diagnosis of bone marrow cancer last year. He has since found love again with Lana Sutton. (John Fleenor/ABC via Getty Images)

“I think I have a certain amount of resilience,” he said, looking back at the “dark period” in his life after the divorce.

Jerry Turner announced his engagement to Lana Sutton on October 3, 2025. (Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty Images)

“I refer to it as my marathon mentality, where you can tolerate anything for a certain period of time. And then, once the pain or unhappiness is over, it’s time to pull yourself together, put on your big fat pants and move on with life. That’s what it was. I just had to change course.”